Thursday, September 22, 2005

Blind Date Guy

Okay, so I went on this blind date last Friday. Why I put myself through this just to please my friends is beyond me. No more. Because clearly my friend Roni hates me. She keeps setting me up with ugly guys.


While on the date, I did two things:

1) I stated, in no uncertain terms, in fact, maybe even in these terms: "I am not interested in dating anyone right now."

2) At the end of the date, I said, "Thank you very much. It was very nice meeting you." That's it.

Now to me, that seems like a pretty clear message of, "NOT INTERESTED." Right?

I actually vetted this after the fact with my friend Bachman, a dater of great skill and expertise. I asked him, if someone said those two things to you, what would the message be?

He said, he should know that you are not interested. And because it was a blind date, no foul.

So, that being said -- WHY DOES BLIND DATE GUY CONTINUE TO CALL ME? Oh. My. God.
Five calls since then, and I haven't taken ONE of them. As far as I'm concerned, I am under no obligation to call him back. It was a blind date. A couple of hours out of my life. So you got rejected by a stranger, who CARES, fa Chrissake??????

I haven't made a firm decision if it is pathetic or creepy. But to me it's feeling like creepy. Especially after the gift he brought me. Who the hell brings a gift on a blind date? Do you hear me? NO GIFTS ON BLIND DATES. It's not cute, it's not endearing, it's not even the tiniest bit appealing. It's just CREEPY. And five phone calls are stalkerish.

Cut it out.

I'm reminded of my friend CB, whose boyfriend broke up with him via IM after a YEAR of dating.

Now, there should be some guidelines. I propose this:

Blind Date: Unless BOTH parties have agreed clearly at the end of the date, "that was really fun, we should do it again," neither party is required to make or return follow-up phone calls.

After dating for 2 weeks: It is acceptable to break it off via IM or Text Message.

After dating for more than two weeks but less than 3 months: A phone call during office hours is okay. "This isn't working for me" requires no more explanation than that. Don't let the person try to browbeat you into giving any more reason than that.

After dating for 6 months or more: You SIT your ass DOWN in front of that person and you tell them yourself that you don't want to see them anymore. You DON'T act like an asshole for months hoping that the person will get tired and break up with YOU. That is cowardly. Grow a set and be an adult.

There, I've ranted that out of my system.


At 9/23/2005 4:16 AM, Blogger Anocsanamun said...

Grew up hanging out in williamsburg. Dated the guy who owns the pizzeria closest to the Grand street stop. I was the other woman once upon a few times. I know how it felt. I know your blind date guidelines. I have them too

At 9/23/2005 11:51 AM, Blogger Jane Doe said...

Thanks for your comments -- I checked out your blog, it is so refreshingly human! Keep on writing -- sometimes it is the only thing keeping me sane.

And I know egg-zackly which pizzeria you are talking about!

To be perfectly honest, I'd rather be the Other Woman than subject myself to another blind date!

At 9/24/2005 4:59 PM, Blogger Anocsanamun said...

PS - Don't eat there - he doesn't always wash his hands when he pees.


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